It's been a while. Since I touched these pages or had my heart touched by anything. I've felt the darkness tangled in with the tiny shards of light that I was given to hold on to. Too delicate to stay within my grasp, they just fell to the earth and shattered. Everything shattered, never to be put back together. It's within this place that I am living. Limbo. Do I stay vigilant to the night that is all around me, or do I attempt to bend down to pick up these tiny fragments of gold? Can I make it one more night, or do I sleep now and end the fight?
There is no despair within me anymore, there is only hope and this hope blossoms into these tiny flowers that dance all around me. These are the shards that fell through my hands but in their demise have bred into something that I couldn't imagine. There is beauty in death because death breeds life and this life is beautiful if you can just open your eyes. Stop and look around you at all the things that are good. Push away all of the things that are negative, that cast you into despair and melancholy. Really seeing what's around instead of pretending we know exactly what lay before us.
Here I stand. Halfway to nowhere but halfway to somewhere. There is hope within me and while I do not believe in fate, I do believe in love. I love myself more and more these days as I find myself in a huge healing process. Healing from hurt. The darkness isn't as dark anymore when you have someone to hold your hand.