Memento Mori

My photo
Seattle, Washington, United States
Professional Darling

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Ramblings of a Mind Muddled with Madness

+ I fear that no one will notice, after I do it. That the illusion will finally be broken and everything will be cast into the light, and not the dark that prefer. + I know that everyone feels differently and while I do my best to be attentive, I feel like it is thrown back in my face. + I can listen to the girl inside, and today I have. + I have probably been spared once or twice over the pain and ridicule that my brain possesses and then mocks me with. +

+ Everyday is a battle with my head. + Everyday is my growing concern that I am living my last days. + Everyday I try to give myself a reason to keep going, to pick up where I left off the day before. + Not everyday is a descent into madness.+ Some days are even filled with just a little light. +

+ I am not my disease and everyday it gets harder and harder to say that with a straight face. +

+ I love you all.+


  1. I have planned 'it' many times. My best friend did 'it' and we all noticed. I notice still. I too fight,I'm a man - not a disease. Your words reached me with familiar tones. I love you back Gennifer.

  2. Too many times we're labelled by our conditions. It does hurt, sometimes the pain is great and while loved ones try to sympathise and tell us "you are not your disease" It's difficult to believe wih conviction. You can only really rely on yourself for that.

    Love you Gennifer.