Memento Mori

My photo
Seattle, Washington, United States
Professional Darling

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Something Quick Before Bed?

Why does it feel like everyone can sleep except me?
Why do I feel like the only nights that I have severe insomnia
are the ones in which I have to get up early the next day?
Doctor's appointment tomorrow at 9am, and I have to get up
early to tidy a bit. Can't have the workers in my apartment staring
at dirty dishes and bras on the floor.

I've been working on a project lately that has been giving me an
immense amount of satisfaction. It involves a little thinking
and a little planning but so far I think that it has been a success.
The project isn't finished yet, but when it is, I can tell you all about it.
That reminds me, I need to do yet another little piece before I go to bed.

So it finally happened, D. and I made it through all of those, "monthaversaries"
as he called them, and we have finally been together exclusively for a year.
We have been seeing each other for a little bit longer though. He gave me a very
beautiful ring that only fits on my ring finger. At first it irked me a little bit, I mean
I don't want anything to be a permanent fixture on that finger ever again.
Then I thought about it, if I don't believe in it, then why does it matter?
It doesn't. It really doesn't. What does matter though, is that I am deeply
in love with a man that reciprocates my feelings. He is amazing, I am
amazing and we are amazing together. A year is a long time, especially when it
as hard as my year was, how hard his was. Having someone beside you to hold
you up when you're on your way down is the most amazing thing you can ever feel.

Feelings are amazing.
Emotions are vital.

I'm almost all the way to happy, and I'm sure I will just turn around and walk
backwards again. After that, back to happy. Such is that aspect of my life.

I wouldn't trade it for anything, I really wouldn't.